The mandatory girly thoughts

So here are my thoughts on the opposite sex.

I don’t get them.

But I would like to marry one of them at some point.

Now, it would seem that I’d maybe understand boys, growing up pretty closely with two brothers, but speaking as a twenty-something long term singleton, I think we should just leave them to whatever goes on in their interesting minds.

People thought it was weird when I did Relay (http://uccf.relay.org/relay) that boys and girls on the scheme were not allowed to go out with one another. I was pretty happy with that, not wanting the possible prospect of the drama of relationships to interfere with the good work we were doing together for Christ. So I managed to stave those thoughts (marriage, children etc) for another year. Well kinda.

So my question today I think is simply the age-old, ‘Why is all of that stuff just so confusing?’ I think my reaction when faced with an ambiguous situation with a dude is just to shrug my shoulders and go ‘Ah well.’ But I wonder if I’m too passive about these things. Probably.

By the way, just to make the point that these thoughts are not stemming from an overflow of emotional tension concerning one of those people I’ve just been chatting about. For once.

Promises

Do not fear, I am with you.

Do not be dismayed, I am your God.

I will strengthen you, I will help you.

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Even if I walk through the deepest darkness,

I will not be afraid, Lord, for you are with me.

Psalm 23:4

The Lord himself will lead you and be with you.

He will not fail you or abandon you.

So do not lose courage or be afraid.

Deuteronomy 31:8

God has said: I will never leave you, I will never abandon you.

Hebrews 13:5

Lessons learned from the Olympics

So I loved the Olympic Games whilst it was on. I watched particularly the 2nd week pretty religiously, as the only sport I really love is the athletics, probably because there aren't any complex rules; athletes literally running in straight lines, throwing things, jumping, using uncomplicated poles to jump etc.

One athlete that really stood out for me was Christine Ohuruogu. This could possibly be because my mum has been saying "Oh, she's your age" all through the run-up to the games, as parents tend to do. So she stood out in my mind before running the 400m finals at the birds nest thing on Tuesday.

What impressed me was how she ran 'her own race' as Michael Johnson said. She was not at all phased by the other athletes, particularly Sanya Richards, the favourite from USA who ran an uneven race to say the least. She really paced herself, and even looked as though she was going to be fourth until the last 50 metres.

I've got that amazing image in my mind even now as I write, reminding me about this Christian race I'm in. When tempted to compare myself to other Christians, or to other people in general thinking about how successful or accomplished they are over me, I have to remember that the race that I'm in is not to be run in my own strength, comparing myself to the other 'athletes' around me. There are many bible verses in the New Testament that speak of the Christian life as a race. I think my favourite though, and probably the most challenging to me, is the one in Hebrews 12:1-3 which follows on from *a list of excellent people of faith who ran their life races believing and trusting in God.

The writer says:

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a *great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Jesus had a real focus from day one of his ministry. He knew he was going to suffer, but he had an even greater view of the reward that stood for him after the suffering, that being that He would be the one by whom salvation from sin’s consequences is purchased;

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father. – Philippians 2:10-11.

The great news for me is that I don’t need to follow this example to the T. What a weird thing to say huh? But the truth, and the good news is that Jesus is with me helping me to live for him, and to keep running my race. He’s made many promises in His bible assuring me of this. I stumble sometimes/a lot/all the time but He’s helping me to run. What great news!

Everybody should remind themselves of the truth everyday.

So, when I finished that last post (this is my second in one day, loser) I left a little bit displeased with what I'd written. I think in my mind the context is fine, but to some it may appear that I'm in this Christianity malark for what I can get out of it. I assure you that that is not true.

Phil's letter got me thinking about the gospel; that Romans 8 verse she quoted can often be taken out of context, as I said before. But the main heft of the verse is actually the first part,

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him graciously give us all things?" - Romans 8:32

I read (some of) a book in the past few months called Disciplines of Grace. The writer taught us how to get the balance right between trusting in God's grace, and not becoming legalistic. I think maybe because I have a short-ish attention span I found it difficult to finish the book (or maybe the book was too heavy for me) but one of the points I really grasped was when the writer said that a way of keeping ourselves from legalism (the act of becoming a 'religious' Christian) is to preach the gospel to ourselves everyday.

What does that mean? I ought to remind myself of this very truth that God tells me over an over again through the Bible, and particularly in the second part of the bible, the New Testament:

"It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah (Saviour).

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing."

Ephesians 2:1-10 (The Message version)

I may not think that I am, but I AM really concerned with performance in pleasing God. I love looking good, smelling good (which, for my friends' sake is a good thing), sounding good, even writing the right things in this blog of mine. But I could never please God with this performance based mentality. God didn't save my soul because I got great grades in school. He saved me from my sin and the consequences thereof (eternal suffering away from any good things, because they ALL come from Him) because He is...how does the Bible put it...he has immense mercy and incredible love!

See, all people were created to know God, and to live under His perfect rule. Our sin tore us away from God, and we see the consequences in our lives everyday. But God has made a way for all people to know Him, through Jesus Christ, who wasn't just a good man, but was GOD and lived on earth to die, paying the price for all humanity's sin. He offers eternal life (life like this, only infinitely better) to all who believe in Him, and hold on to him through this stormy life.

I have to learn to remind myself of this truth everyday, because it speaks to, and beyond all my struggles. Like feeling I need to do more to succeed: I should know from experience that He has done so much in saving my soul, and in literally saving my life and sustaining me thus far.

I have a lot to learn.

Everybody should write letters!

I received a lovely card from my friend Phil today. She totally encouraged me, after reading my last moany post with this verse:

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him graciously give us all things?" - Romans 8:32

And as I type I'm remembering verses that remind me of God's provision such as Matthew 7:7-11 when Jesus says:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

So, if we humans who are blatantly sinful love our kids/family and want to give them everything, how much more will my Perfect Father give me good gifts when I ask? Now i'm not naive, I know God isn't like some indulgent dad, who gives me stuff just to stop me throwing tantrums. But I need to remember to look back on my life, on the amazing things He's done, the miracles He's provided for myself and my defenseless family, and oughtn't I to praise and trust him for what he has done and will do?! Why do I find that so hard?!

Like I said before anyway everybody should write letters. It makes me hapy gettig non-bill related post! Also received a thank you card from Julia and Jonathan, and it was like "Aw!" Actually increased my dopamine levels.

Difficult days...

I'm really struggling to trust God at the moment. I'm going through the days, these unstructured days, as I search for work, just very morosely and unaffected by life. I am watching more TV than I've watched ever before, and I know that's not healthy for me. I'm spending an endless amount of time on Facebook too, looking at...pretty much nothing.

I know I should spend these days getting to know God more, through his word. These quiet days are especially useful for that. But it's funny, when I don't have much to worry about (other than finding work, of course, and alleviating myself and my family from the struggle we've been through since we moved to this country) I just sit around extremely uselessly, wasting all my talents. Jumping from TV to PC is my speciality, in a relentless search for something to do. I fear I'm not being very productive in the way I search for work either, as I constantly distract myself. I hope this doesn't become like my bid to lose weight; something I'm determined to do, running to the gym once/twice a day, yet eating snacks in between that don't affect nothing.

I still haven't found a church yet either. I visited one in West Ham last Sunday, and it was unstimulating, to say the least. I think I may have to stick to the one I've been to over the past few weeks. This is a slow process, finding a church. I like the one I've been visiting, with its brilliant teaching, and really great worship style. I'm not too sure about the community of the church though. It's in East London, and that part of the world is not often conducive to close-knit communities like one would have in, say the Midlands. It's extremely frustrating entering a church and not receiving at least a friendly welcome. Other than the church leader, I don't think I've interacted very much with anybody, and I'm an interactive person! Sigh, gotta keep working though. And trusting God.

A good day

I've had a really good day so far, and just thought I'd blog it. God has been so good to me in my current state of post-university, post-relay unemployment. He really has. Days have been up and down, but I'm really thankful for how He's provided me with things to do, and given me a few leads on jobs. I'd like to bottle up this moment, as I sit here in my living room with the sunshine streaming through the windows (a feast of happy hormones!). Slight glipmse of heaven maybe. A tiny tiny tiny foretaste of heaven. :)

My hope is found...

Hello!

Inspired by some lovely friends, and a need to keep on top of my thoughts, rather than spending endless amounts of time on social networking websites i have decided to creat a blog. I know I want to etch my thoughts on this online diary but mostly I want to encourage myself. I want to remember the goodness of my God to me, and never forget it. It seems the internet is a great place to do this, because I'll never lose this blog like I would a paper diary. On the other hand, anybody can see this blog so I'd better be careful what I write eh? Well, I'm known for speaking my mind. We'll see if this happens...

"In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song"

This song explains where the title for my blog came about. Jesus Christ. He's my only hope and foundation in a world where love seems to be fleeting, hope dying and even friendships restraining. I don't know how I would have been able to get through my life without my God. I learned a new verse from the bible yesterday:

"HE is my loving ally, my tower of safety, my rescuer.
HE is my shield , I take refuge in Him!" - Psalm 144:2

Sometimes it takes a while before I fully get things, dunno if you know what I mean? I have to read things over again until I get them. But I read this once and was filled with hope. What other God promises that and keeps His promise? I really know what it feels like to need a rescuer and shield and I'm sure I'm not the only one. What GOOD NEWS to be reminded of this truth.

Hopefully I can take this into the rest of this week, as I'll be facing some pretty challenging situations in a few days. I need to trust that God's got everything in control as I embark on a new path in life. Remember remember remember!