The Battle within

I have a difficult daily fight inside me. Pride struggles to take hold of my life. Gah.

My soul says, "I don't deserve this".
The Lord who created me says, "Humble yourself before me and I will lift you up" (James 4:10).

My soul says, "I don't need to pray today - I'm alright".
The Spirit of God says, "Trust in me with all your heart. DO NOT lean on your own understanding. In everything you do, place yourself in my hands for guidance, and I will make your path straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

My soul says, "People suck a lot".
The Lord who loves the world says, "I did not come into the world to condemn the world, but through my death to save the world" (John 3:17).

My soul says, "She deserves a slap for disrespecting me."
The Holy Spirit says, "You are blessed if you experience rejection for my sake, because you'll be a winner when my kingdom comes" (Matthew 5:3,10).

My soul says, "This is beneath me".
The Lord God says, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you should" (Romans 12:2-4).

My soul says, "Why me?!"
The God who loves me says, "Do not be afraid, Layo. I am with you. I have called you by name. You are mine" (Isaiah 43:1)

NEWs

I got a new job.

It's really not what I envisaged I'd be spending my time doing; more a last resort as pending expenses loom large and funds run really low. I've also had a really rubbishy time jobhunting, with real disappointments that I've been told were owing to the current financial situation. So you'll understand my feeling that it's back to square one, to roles that I feel slightly overqualified for. Can I hear somebody say "Aww?!"

I have to praise God though. Even though I've found it so hard to in the past few days. He has been extra gracious in giving me at least something to fill my time and pay my way to a good extent for a while. By his grace, He's also given me team leader who is a Christian, and a Nigerian. I wrote a post not too long ago asking people to pray for more black fundamentalists, and wow, I believe I may have met one in my team leader. It is a rare thing just to find a Christian in a group, but to find someone who seems to really know what it means to hold fast to Christ alone - that's encouraging. Thank God. I look forward to seeing how this works out in the hectic nature of the job. There is always something to thank God for, as I was reminded today, because He is forever gracious.

So, there are so many bible verses that should comfort me in this time - "consider it pure joy, fridns when you go through all kinds of trials, because the testing of your faith produces perseverance, perseverances (produces) character, and character hope". That's from James 1.

Facebook

It's really cool.
But it's really unhelpful too.
Allows you to keep in touch with friends. Kinda. well, more like nose into the lives of people you hardly keep in touch with.
Makes you self-obsessive.
Is a bloody time-waster.
Also a good way to pass the time.
I fear it does more harm than good though. Particularly to me.
It's scary deciding to leave Facebook. I had a bit of cold turkey a few months ago. Was strange but liberating. I really need to curb the amount of time I spend on these websites. Especially as I'm in a pretty vulnerable situation at the moment.

I wonder if they'll add "facebook" to the Oxford English Dictionary. I bet they will soon enough.

Psalm 46

I love the Psalms. They're honest, reassuring and so true to God's character. After reading Psalm 46 recently, I thought I'd paste it on here, and add my thoughts.

1-3

God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.

We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,

courageous in seastorm and earthquake,

Before the rush and roar of oceans,

the tremors that shift mountains.

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,

God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

So reassuring to hear that God is our 'safe place'. He is after all God. As a result, we can have no fear when really difficult times come. Life is terrifying at times. But look, the God of the Angel-Armies, the God who is supernatural, who has sovereign control over those disasters listed above fights for us! What an amazing assurance.

4-6

River fountains splash joy, cooling God's city,

this sacred haunt of the Most High.

God lives here, the streets are safe,

God at your service from crack of dawn.

Godless nations rant and rave, kings and kingdoms threaten,

but Earth does anything he says.

7

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,

God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

Looking into the home of God, it's pretty clear that the prevailing tempo of atmosphere here is peace. God is like the police of this city; even though there are lots of instabilities around, lots of ranting and raving and threatening, God is still wonderfully in control. The earth obeys his words, so natural disasters like the ones described in verses 1-3 pale into comparison to his power. Verse 7 again reassures us that God fights for us and protects us. All are welcomed into this place of safety by placing their trust in Christ Jesus.

8-10

Attention, all! See the marvels of God!

He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,

Bans war from pole to pole,

breaks all the weapons across his knee.

"Step out of the traffic! Take a long,

loving look at me, your High God,

above politics, above everything."

11

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,

God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

The world is called to open their eyes and see God's greatness in his works. The Master Gardener (haha, is that irreverent?) is also the Great Peacemaker. I wonder if this is a glimpse of the new creation he has planned for his people, a world that is perfect in its creative beauty and peaceful - the world as it should be.

People are then called to "step out of the traffic" and learn to dialogue with God, to learn to know him, above all the things that vie for our time.

Such good news to hear again that God is our fighter, our hero and our protector.

I think I'll do Isaiah 58 next.

More black fundamentalists please.

I need to blog this even though I'm not sure it's wise. But where are the black fundamentalist preachers? Where are the role models who are willing to point to the cross of Christ, leading people to a saving grace in Christ alone, forsaking all? People who are living purely for heaven, and not seeking wealth or a large following? People committed, like in 1st Timothy, to preaching the gospel when they are loved and when they are hated? Maybe it's just me, but I'd really like to hear of the ministry of someone willing to give up their lives for Christ. Someone who is leading a black majority church (there are many where I live, hence the relevance) with humility, and 100% allegiance to Christ.

I'm sure there are many black fathers doing so, but sometimes it is so heartbreaking to see that there is so little by way of role modelling for my brothers to follow. Whilst people like to think that the colour of someone's skin doesn't make a difference, I know from experience that it does. Heaven will be a multicultural place, but there need to be more workers sent out into the field. So, if you read this, pray for my generation. Pray for young black male leaders, who choose not to be defined just by the colour of their skin, but by their allegiance to Christ. Pray for people who choose not just to talk, but to live out the gospel, difficult as that may be. For His glory, and the salvation of many.

Verses! (From The Message)

Romans 5:3-5

There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise* even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

Romans 8:31-39

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

* I added all the italics and emphasis(es) :-)

Waiting...

It’s a part of Christian life. This is following on from my last post, about knowing/finding joy in Christ alone.

I often forget that waiting is a big part of this walk. Primarily we wait on God for our salvation to be revealed on that day when Christ returns. That’s where our hope is built. We also wait for him to provide what we need whilst we wait for him to return. These are things like our daily needs; food, shelter, good relationships etc. The book of James reminds us that “all good gifts around us are sent from heaven above”. So while we wait for people to get back to us, or for circumstances to change, our hope should not be in these things happening, but in God in whom we live, move and have our being!

My Bible reading this morning was from Psalm 27. The writer used the first verse to give three reasons why we should trust God while we wait. This is because of his character.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

Firstly, He is our light. His light is what removes our fear of others, or of the darkness around. Our hope is in a God who will not disappoint. Therefore it’s so important to let the light of God’s character illuminate our lives!

Secondly, He is our salvation. We need to trust that He knows what He’s doing, so even when it seems nothing is happening to our situation, His resurrection power gives us the strength to respond with real joy during the storm.

Thirdly, He is our stronghold. When we go experience ridicule, prejudice and abuse because of our trust in Him, He upholds us and protects us whilst we wait on him.