Turn your eyes upon Jesus,,,

It's Christmas time, and it's very busy! Since finishing work on Tuesday for the year, I have been running around meeting up with friends, shopping for Christmas presents, hospital appointments...it's been flying by.

I've been going through these past couple days with a mixture of guilt and excitement as well as pleasure at some of the brilliant gifts I have scored for my family and friend. But why the guilt, you might wonder? It's because I haven't spent that much time talking to God, bringing him into my days. I've been thinking a lot about Christmas recently, and the gift that Jesus is to this broken world. I celebrate this time of year like most people, for the break that it gives me from work, and the time to be my own person, but it's really just so important that I spend more time with God during this holiday, just pondering his awesome gift of Jesus Christ to me, and to all who believe.

This world is just so distracting, right? It's very easy to get carried away by all the pleasures it offers. Great as they are, they are a very dull reflection of their maker, who can be found in the Bible, through Jesus. So, these next few days, my aim is to have a little down time to follow the words of the famous hymn:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace

SIX months later

...It's been a while since I've posted. I'm still here though, still committed to Christ and the cause of sharing his glory. Now, I say that, but when was the last time I shared Christ with someone? I ask this not to measure my performance, but to see if I really am makng the most of every opportunitiy. I try often to find ways of getting God into conversations at work, "How was your weekend?" "My weekend was (insert descriptive here); I went shopping, hung out with some friends, went to church on Sunday". But not much has come out of that. I'm considering getting fliers/leaflets that I'll take with me. I have some really great material I can grab hold of fairly easily.

Question: any tips for sharing Christ creatively? Particularly at work, where it;s often difficult to crowbar Jesus into conveersations?

Grace is a practical conscious action

I'm thankful to God for experiences that have taught me to be more gracious to people.

For example, I have friend with learning difficulties who seems to like me a lot. A lot! Sometimes, this is to the point at which it gets irritating, as she tends to invade my personal space (since when was one's 'personal space' theirs anyway? Surely when you move out of a 'space' it no longer belongs to you. But you know what I mean) when sitting near me and she calls my name over and over. Now this clear display of affection is somewhat alien to me, so I've found it quite difficult to deal with.

But one day, it struck me that this girl is someone that I can extend grace to. Because I am like her. With my mum at times I can be super clingy, quite like my friend when the fact is that I am needy and the human contact is exactly what I need. And my mum is so gracious to me! Even though I must be so annoying.

I love it when these real-life examples pop up, and I learn how to extend love to those who are weaker than I am.

Say you are a Stockbroker

The Christian stockbroker will say in the face of a falling market, "The main food I want from this job is still there. I am hungry above all to pass this test of faith and have a deep restfulness in the goodness and power of Christ. I am hungry to enjoy his name being esteemed as others see my demeanor and my integrity and give Christ glory." And to that end he labor for the food that endures to eternal life. He labors, rising early for prayer and meditation and holding Christ near to his heart all day. In that security he thinks of the good of others and serves them. That is a wonder, not a wasted life.

Jesus calls us to be aliens and exiles in the world. Not by taking us out of the world, but by changing, at the root, how we view the world and how we do our work in it. If we simply work to earn a living - if we labor for the bread that perishes - we will waste our lives. But if we labor with the sweet assurance that God will supply all our needs - that Christ died to purchase every undeserved blessing - then all out labor will be a labor of live and a boasting in the cross.

Amazing excerpt from "Don't waste your life" by John Piper.

A 'white spiritual' with black notes.

I lifted this amazing video from Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile's blog. So moving.

Wordpress envy...

I think one of the things I know myself most for is envy.

Fail.

The green-eyed monster does tend to get to me, especially when it comes to technology.

I'm considering betraying my almost two year allegiance to blogspot and defecting to wordpress.

Those who have their own blogs will know what I mean.

Any thoughts on the matter? Should I stay? Or should I go? Will it have more of

Do I wanna tempt fate and ask? As it'll be super embarrassing if nobody cares, or even reads this.

Of screwtapes and wastage

Last month was pretty full on. For one thing I started a new job , and was learning much about the banking sector. (I know right, a job in banking?? Me??) For another, I struggled a lot with issues with church; relationships and people etc.

When I have these real let-downs in life, I tend to go back to the basics, and think "What am I missing here? What have I neglected to learn?" This time, I went back to books. Hurray!

I'd not read a book in months, maybe a year, and trolling through my very full bookshelf I came across 'The Screwtape Letters' by CS Lewis. It's about the stuff that goes on behind the scenes in the life of a Christian, also known as spiritual warfare. I learned so much from this little book, which reads as a work of fiction, of letters from an experienced old demon to his nephew. Contrary to appearances, it's full of ' real life advice' for Christians, from the importance of getting down on our knees to pray to how demons will use any situation in our lives to bring us closer to satan, and further away from Jesus. It's not about the mere fact of how busy my life is, or what I'm doing with my time, but about where my heart is, and how much I'm growing to know God more. Or less, as the case may be.

The other book I read, well am still reading now, is 'Don't Waste Your Life' by John Piper. What an excellent book it is. I started it a while ago, then lost interest, and picking it up again, now my heart is ready, I'm already learning so much!

He must increase...

...I must decrease.

My pride has to go for the glory of my King.

I tend to get involved in church matters, friendships and general life circumstances without getting my priorities right.

And what are those priorities?

JESUS FIRST.
Others second.

Matthew 22:35-38

Another Sovereign Grace clip.

Love this video. On how to be united in Christ despite different views on the Holy Spirit.

"I am united with Christ. Jesus loves me. Jesus is with me."

It's all about Jesus. Still gotta learn this one.

DugDownDeep_Camara_short.mov from Covenant Life Church on Vimeo.

Joshua Harris' new book

It's called Dug Down Deep and it's about why theology matters for Christians. Buy it here.

I really like this promo video, and I have to remember to tell people this truth, because I believe it. God give me the boldness.

DugDownDeep_Carnahan.mov from Covenant Life Church on Vimeo.

A March blog post

Haven't blogged in ages...so here goes.

My life is good...it has taken a turn for the better lately. Ask me why if you care and I'll tell you, in private.

I'm still being challenged to be an all-round better Christian. I'm still failing immensely.

But thanks be to God, who, for some unknown, unfathomable reason is still working on me. I hope.

Lecrae "Far away"

HEh-VAN

Last Sunday, my pastor gave this simple yet brilliant illustration on the riches of heaven, compared to the paltry wealth of earth.

Imagine giving a toddler a choice between a handful of chocolate in one hand, or £1000 in the other hand, which they will receive when they are 18. Which will they choose?
More likely the chocolate right?
That's a very restricted image of the difference between choosing the paltry, temporary, passing welath on offer here on earth over the immense riches and glory on offer to us when Jesus gives us our reward.

I want to remember that for the rest of my life.


P.S. "Paltry" is the word of the day.

reading ma bible

I'm trying to get through the Bible in a year.

For my birthday last year, I got an ESV Study Bible (sweet, very sweet) and in there is a bible reading plan, which I'm trying to stick to. I'm reading on my commute into work and as part of my quiet time.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm gaining much from it. Because I'm reading wherever I can, not to fall behind, I sometimes read pretty quickly. But I'm convinced that God will use it to transform me to his image.

Focus

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say
"It is well, it is well with my soul!"

Dang! I claim that!!

Blessed be your name, when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness;
Blessed be your name.

And blessed be your name when the sun's shining down on me,
When the world's all as it should be;
Blessed be your name.

Every blessing your pour out I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say,

"Blessed be the name of the Lord,
Blessed be your name!
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name!"

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say,
"Lord, blessed be your name"

Haiti and my pride

Two incidents that have been in my thoughts of late.


Haiti's devastation by earthquake has really pushed my pity/empathy button. The very graphic images of bodies caught in the rubble of buildings have revealed the devastation the country is going through. (Is it me, or does the media have no boundaries of what they will show? Is that really the only way that we in the Western world can be moved to compassion?) I've been thinking about Haiti, and will be asking that our God, who is a refuge, even when the mountains fall into the heart of the sea (Psalm 46:2) will remind the people there of His steadfast love in trying times.



I keep thinking about how proud I am.
How I don't like correction, particularly when it's from family.
My pride is most evident when I don't treat life like the refining fire that it is, but act like it's a habit.
My pride shows when I act like I know what I don't know but don't want to learn.
I don't like to ask for accountability, because it's risking the pain of a bad relationship.

Hmm.

It is imperative that I...

Psalm 118:1-4

¹ Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

² Let Israel say:
"His love endures forever."

³ Let the house of Aaron say:
"His love endures forever."

⁴ Let those who fear the LORD say:
"His love endures forever."

My life. It's topsy-turvy, and unpredictable. It's really inward-looking, really selfish, violently painful at times. It's also got its times of laughter and fun, of comfort and rest. It's pretty busy and full on.

This morning I read Psalm 118. The refrain, "His love endures forever" was repeating through the passage. Give thanks to the Lord, his love endures forever.

It is imperative that I, as a child of God, remember this. His love endures forever. Wow.

Whether I'm in the happy part, or the frustrating part or the part where I'm struggling with sin. Or the part where I'm condemning myself. Or...just the average part.

His love endures forever.

Crutches.

Everyone, no matter how 'independent' they think they are, has a crutch.
By 'crutch', I mean something they lean on to help them feel in control of the difficult times, to get them through the pain, whatever. Just as a physical crutch is to someone who cannot walk on their own. This is not to be confused with a 'crush', who you fantasise about in order to get through the pain of them not actually wanting you enough... :-)

A crutch, let's not lie, is an idol. It's us saying "This'll help me out. It's something I can see/taste/feel, and helps relieve a bit of the pain." But, again let's not lie, more often than not it doesn't work. It's futile. Why try then?

I was thinking on the train to work this morning about what my crutch is and I think it's music. When I decide I want to go into myself, get all introverted, I turn on my iPod. Particularly when travelling around London, with it's crowds of lonely people. Ugh. Music is my company, you know. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

But when I 'need' music all the time...am I leaning onto something that isn't God? Am I making it my idol? I do have to be very alert to this...because I tend to have a "leaning on my understanding" mentality.

Proverbs 3:5-6 keeps coming back to me, as the Lord reminds us...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

We're all disabled, and constantly look to something to lean into. Just because we cannot see God, however, doesn't mean our faith should falter. Christians look to things unseen, seeking our God and his infinite wisdom through his Word, the Bible.

So whilst I hobble through life, I'd like to make it my thing to lean into God, not myself.

God is still faithful in 2010

So it's a new year. Another 52 weeks of challenges and joys to come. As I get older, time becomes really precious to me, whereas before because I had lots of it, (or rather I felt I had lots of it, who knows what tomorrow holds?!) I never really thought about the currency of time. But for some reason I keep remembering that time is short. Psalm 90 reminds me that I'm like grass, flourishing one minute and withering the next.

When I was a student, I spent some time with a few people who felt that they needed to rush through their days, particularly with respect to getting married. I remember having a conversation with a girl who brought this message home to me, as she felt she had a 'right' to get married and to experience the highs of life.

There's something about this that frightens me, particularly the idea of rushing headlong into a romantic relationship, in the dangerous days we live in where divorce rates are high, and even where a marriage stays, there is often heartache within it. Something in me looks at these disasters and thinks that God designed things to be better for his people, even within the fallen world that we live in.

So, I'm a bit of an oddity in world that loves to rush - where people are married or company executives by the age of 25, and at 25 I'm a single lady administrator, still wondering what the future will hold for me. Some of the thoughts that guide me into 2010 include, "I walk by faith, not by sight", "God is sovereign, even though things are tough and confusing"(Psalm 46). I hope to take things one day at a time, in practice, not just in theory.

I'm sure there is a lot of wisdom in not wasting time, maybe I'm guilty of having done that, but I hope and pray that God does this for me:

"Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12